1x19, "Dead Man Talking"

by Kerlin

Note: This transcript is in rough draft form, meaning it only contains lines of dialogue. General actions and scenes will be added at a later date.

Breaks in text signify a scene change.

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SECURITY GUARD: Dammit, now I know they're doing it on purpose.
CGIBBS: Who?
SECURITY GUARD: The guys who installed the new fire alarm system. That's the third time this week the damn thing's gone off an hour after they quit work.
CONSTRUCTION GUY: Aren't you gonna call the fire department?
SECURITY GUARD: It's a false alarm, it's a pain in the ass for them to have to sign in and out.
CONSTRUCTION GUY: Not supposed to use the elevator in a fire.
SECURITY GUARD: Look, there's no fire, George, and I'm not walking up five floors for a false alarm.
CONSTRUCTION GUY: Can't you shut it off here?
SECURITY GUARD: Don't you think I would if I could? They haven't connected that circuit yet. On purpose.

[credits]

TONY: Oh, yeah.
[phone at Kate's desk starts ringing]
TONY: Special Agent Todd's desk. I'm sorry, she's stepped away.
KATE: Dinozzo!
TONY: May I ask who's calling?
KATE: Hey! Wait!
TONY: Uhm, one moment, Dwayne.
KATE: I do have voicemail.
TONY: What fun is that?
KATE: Hey! Hi, uh, yeah, me too. Oh, yeah, I know where that is. Okay, great. I'm leaving now. Bye.
TONY: His name is Dwayne?
KATE: You really need to get a social life of your own.
TONY: I have a social life.
KATE: What's tonight, Celebrity Mole?
TONY: No, best of Jackass.
GIBBS: Hold on.
TONY: What is it, boss?
GIBBS: Chris Pochee was murdered.
KATE: The agent that sits behind me?

[flashback from UnSEALed]

GIBBS: Detective Hanley.
HANLEY: Special Agent Gibbs.
GIBBS: Thanks for the call.
HANLEY: When we ID'd him as NCIS, I assumed you'd want to take the lead.
GIBBS: 'Preciate that. Who found the body?
HANLEY: Janitor and the security guard. They were alerted when a fire alarm went off on the fifth floor.
TONY: On our way up.
HANLEY: We held off on taking their statements. Thought you'd want to do that.
DUCKY: Oh, Christopher, who did this to you? It's easier to overcome the gore and inhumanity when you don’t know the victim, but it's so hard to be detached when it's one of your own?
NEW ASSISSTANT: Should I start taking photos, Doctor Mallard?
DUCKY: Yeah. Work goes on.

SECURITY GUARD: I called 911 when someone left the building from the rear emergency exit, setting off the fire alarm.
GIBBS: Security cameras catch it?
SECURITY GUARD: Ah...they're not installed yet. The building's being retrofitted with new systems and nothing's online.
GIBBS: What time did Chr - what time did the victim enter the building?
SECURITY GUARD: I don't remember seeing him come in.
GIBBS: Is there another entrance?
SECURITY GUARD: No...he would've had to come through here.
GIBBS: How could you not see him? Does this lobby get that busy?
SECURITY GUARD: He, he, he could've come in while I was signing construction workers out.
GIBBS: I want a copy of their names and a list of floors they work on.
SECURITY GUARD: Yes, sir.

GIBBS: Bastard disemboweled him.
DUCKY: Yes, but I don't think that was the cause of death.
GIBBS: That a bullet wound?
DUCKY: Yes, in the neck. Most likely pierced the carotid artery. It was a quick death; he would have bled out in less than a minute.
GIBBS: Shouldn't there be a lot more blood?
DUCKY: If he were shot in the elevator.
GIBBS: You think it happened topside?
DUCKY: That would be my guess. But this, this slashing was done in the elevator.
GIBBS: Rage or ritual, Duck?
DUCKY: I don’t know, Jethro. Maybe after I've autopsied.
GIBBS: Chris asked me for help on a cold case. I was chasing Curtain and didn't have time.
DUCKY: Jethro...
GIBBS: He said it could wait, what difference would another day make?
DUCKY: Jethro, this is not your fault.
GIBBS: Feels like it is, Ducky. You found a lot of blood.

KATE: Yeah.
GIBBS: We're looking for a bullet.
KATE: We're on it. Whatever happened, it started on the sixth floor. We followed the trail backwards. Pochee made it to the stairwell, he exited at the fifth floor, where he pulled the fire alarm before making it to the elevator.

TONY: God, Chris was so anal. I borrowed his stapler once, put it back in the wrong place - heard about it for days.
GIBBS: Gimme his keys.
KATE: Regs are to carry your weapon from portal to portal. Why'd he leave his here?
GIBBS: He was tailing somebody. Going from place to place. Didn't want to stop to identify himself of risk setting off an alarm.
TONY: We've all done it, especially with the heavy security these days.
GIBBS: I'll go over his case files. You two check out his house.
KATE: Tonight?
GIBBS: Yes, tonight.
KATE: I just gotta make a call.
GIBBS: Is there anyone you need to call, Dinozzo?
TONY: No, boss. No calls.

KATE: You know Pochee well?
TONY: Softball, beers after work, that kind of knowing.
KATE: When he left this morning, he had no idea we'd be going through his personal effects.
TONY: Part of the job.
KATE: Don't you feel like you're -
TONY: What?
KATE: I dunno, like you're invading his privacy?
TONY: Well, he's dead, Kate, with his guts slashed open. I'd say his privacy is about as invaded as it's going to get.
[phone rings]
TONY: Hello?
MCGEE: Is this the Pochee residence?
TONY: Yeah, this is.
MCGEE: NCIS Special Agent McGee?
TONY: McGee, it's Dinozzo. What're you doing calling this number?
MCGEE: Special Agent Pochee wanted me to do something for him. Is, is he there, can I speak to him?
TONY: No.
MCGEE: Dinozzo, this isn't a good time, okay, this is -
TONY: He's been murdered, McGee. What did he ask you to do for him?
MCGEE: He wanted civilian files from a three year old case. Spent all day in the Buford County Courthouse searching for it.
TONY: Did you get it?
MCGEE: Yeah.
TONY: What's in it?
MCGEE: The car accident report. I didn't think I should read it.
TONY: You and the report. NCIS Headquarters. 0700.
MCGEE: Okay. Tony?
TONY: What?
MCGEE: I'm sorry.
TONY: Yeah, kid. Aren't we all.

GIBBS: Get the bullet we found last night?
ABBY: I already ran it.
GIBBS: What time'd you get in?
ABBY: Four AM.
GIBBS: Thanks, Abs.
ABBY: Well, Pochee was family. Slug looked pretty clean, from a .57. Based on rifling, it came from a Smith and Wesson .66.
GIBBS: Very small, easy to conceal.
ABBY: Yeah. I ran a comparison through NIDA - I got nada. Looks like the gun's a virgin, but I'll keep searching
GIBBS: Yeah. Abs - Pochee ask you to do anything for him recently?
ABBY: Nothing for a while.
GIBBS: He was working a cold case. Search the hard drive on his computer.
ABBY: You got it.

DUCKY: Put this back with the others.
GIBBS: What've you found?
DUCKY: As I thought, the bullet tore through the carotid artery. The massive loss of blood while fleeing his attacker was almost instantaneously fatal.
GIBBS: Was the slashing done post-mortem?
DUCKY: I believe so. It's hard to tell for certain. I mean, a three to four inch blade was thrust here below the sternum and sliced down to here. These two more indiscriminate incisions were done next.
GIBBS: Same question, rage or ritual?
DUCKY: Neither. I think the killer was looking for something. Here. There's a small foreign object lodged here, in the upper elementary canal.
GIBBS: What is that?
DUCKY: I was about to find out when you came in.
GIBBS: Did Chris swallow this?
DUCKY: That would be my guess, Jethro.
GIBBS: Ducky, would this be hard to find without an x-ray?
DUCKY: Extremely.
GIBBS: The fire alarm was blaring, and the attacker knew that security had been alerted.
DUCKY: Here we are.
GIBBS: What is that?
NEW ASSISSTANT: It's a memory card, sir. From a digital camera?
DUCKY: Why on earth would Christopher swallow a memory card?
GIBBS: He knew he was dying. And he knew you'd be doing the autopsy. Chris wanted you to find that. Dead man talking, Duck.

ABBY: Obviously they're surveillance photos.
TONY: Oooh, hottie.
ABBY: Don't you think she's a little bit old for you, Tony?
TONY: No, she's about my age.
ABBY: That's exactly my point. Um, there's nothing on the card but candids. Based on the day-time stamp, they were all taken within the past two days.
KATE: I interviewed all the workers. Nobody remembers seeing Pochee or anything unusual, but one of them did find this. He found it at the bottom of the stairwell this morning.
GIBBS: Chris's camera?
KATE: NCIS issue. It's gotta be his.
GIBBS: No memory card.
KATE: Nope.
MCGEE: Sorry, sorry, I'm five minutes late, I had to, ah, park in the visitor's lot, and -
GIBBS: What is it, McGee?
MCGEE: Special Agent Pochee wanted that ASAP.
KATE: What is it?
MCGEE: It's a civil investigation into an automobile accident in Buford County three years ago. Naval officer was killed. Read it last night.
TONY: I didn't have breakfast this morning - you don't mind, do you?
MCGEE: No...
ABBY: Yes, Tony. Hi, McGee.
MCGEE: Hi.
GIBBS: I remember this case. Lieutenant Commander Voss was under investigation for credit card fraud. He stole over ten million dollars from the Navy.
TONY: He the guy that died before they could file charges?
GIBBS: Yep. Money was never found, case went cold.
KATE: Why was Pochee working it?
GIBBS: Found a lead on the money. Maybe her. McGee.
MCGEE: Yes, boss?
GIBBS: I want you on this, I'm gonna get you TAD here. Dinozzo. You take McGee with you, you find out who she is and where she is.
TONY: Let's go, hotshot.
ABBY: Need a place to stay?
MCGEE: Uh, wha, wha...
GIBBS: McGee!
MCGEE: Coming!
KATE: How'd he die?
GIBBS: What?
KATE: Lieutenant Commander Voss, how'd he die?...He was burned to death?

DUCKY: Why am I looking at a three year old autopsy report?
GIBBS: Kate's idea. Chris had this autopsy pulled, Duck, he must've suspected there was something wrong with it.
DUCKY: I'd be very surprised if there were, Jethro, this was done by Hugh Putnam. He's a very competent and thorough ME. I've worked with him before.
GIBBS: Check it out anyway.
KATE: Please. He's gotta learn to say please.
DUCKY: Ah, Christopher. You've left us a bit of a mystery. Give me some direction. What should I be looking for in this autopsy report, hm?

CAPTAIN: You know, I already told Special Agent Pochee everything I could remember about Commander Voss.
GIBBS: When was that?
CAPTAIN: That would have been Tuesday morning. You know, we get underway in two days. Can't you get whatever info you need from Pochee? I can't tell you anymore than what I already told him.
GIBBS: He was murdered last night.
CAPTAIN: I'm sorry.
GIBBS: You were Lieutenant Commander Voss's CO at Norfolk when he was under investigation.
CAPTAIN: Yeah, he was my Command Supply officer, and I gotta tell you, I was shocked when the credit card fraud was discovered and he was suspected.
KATE: Nobody else had access to the cards?
CAPTAIN: No, there's thousands of military and civilian employees had access to those cards. That's why he was able to pull it off.
KATE: I don't understand.
CAPTAIN: In order to cut down on the cash dispersed, the DOD issues credit cards. A phony company was set up, making small charges against a vast number of these accounts - accounts that Commander Voss had approved.
GIBBS: How'd he get caught?
CAPTAIN: Well, he didn't, for almost four years. Then he decided to expand his scam to bilk the entire Atlantic Fleet command. He got over twelve million before somebody noticed anything.
KATE: What happened to all the money?
CAPTAIN: Nobody knows. When Commander Voss died, all he had was savings that were reasonable for a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy, which is why I'm not certain he did it.
GIBBS: What did Special Agent Pochee ask you?
CAPTAIN: Well, he didn't ask me about the scam, all, he wanted to know was who Voss had dated, and I didn't know.

TONY: McGee. It's not like you, what's taking so long.
MCGEE: I've almost got it.
TONY: Y'know, the quicker you get this done, the more quality time you have to spend with a certain tattooed forensic technician of the Gothic persuasion.
MCGEE: What do you mean by that?
TONY: Oh-ho-ho, come on. Abby told me, you, ah, closed the deal under some pretty hinky circumstances.
MCGEE: She told you that? Well, the hinky thing, did she tell you that was her idea? Abby didn't tell you anything did, she.
TONY: A well-trained NCIS agent is good at extracting information. You'll learn. Focus.
MCGEE: I have her address.
TONY: You do? How?
MCGEE: Since evidently this is her residence, I used the process of elimination. Quirkus Virginia.
TONY: Excuse me?
MCGEE: It's a variety of oak tree.
TONY: Well, how can you tell? It doesn't have any leaves on it.
MCGEE: I, I identified the bark.
TONY: Of course you did.
MCGEE: A search of the registry at the Arboretum Society shows that twenty-eight streets were planted with that genus of tree. So I narrowed it down even further. The Department of Public Works says that that Victorian light, circa 1905, was installed on only seven of those streets. If we look even closer...
TONY: Ah, she's got great legs.
MCGEE: Yes she does.
TONY: You narrowed it down to seven streets.
MCGEE: Four of those were eliminated because they don't have three digit addresses, of the remaining only one, according to the US Postal Service, 40th street, has a mailbox in the middle of the block.
TONY: Okay. I'll take it from here, McGee. You look like you could use some coffee.
MCGEE: Not really.
TONY: I take mine with three sugars and a hazelnut. How'd it go?
GIBBS: Tell me you have her name, Dinozzo.
TONY: Any second, boss. I got her address, I'm running it through the search engines.
KATE: How'd you find it?
TONY: Process of elimination, actually. Here it is. Amanda Reed.
GIBBS: Background her, Kate, deep as you can go. C'mon, Tony. McGee, good work on the address.
MCGEE: Oh - thank you, boss.

TONY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, thanks for that. Well, Kate can't find any criminal record. In fact, Amanda Reed sounds like an upstanding citizen. Single, real clean TRW. She just bought this townhouse - paid cash, no mortgage. She was recently accepted at the Potomac Country Club as a member.
GIBBS: I'm impressed.
TONY: Want me to do the interview?
GIBBS: No.
TONY: I can work her, boss.
GIBBS: Chris was keeping his distance for a reason. Until we find out why, we do the same.
TONY: What?
GIBBS: This photograph was taken from up there. Excuse me, you the building manager?
BUILDING MANAGER: No, I got a thing for sweeping sidewalks.
GIBBS: This apartment still for rent?
BUILDING MANAGER: You guys...together?
TONY: Haha...nah, it's not what you think.
GIBBS: NCIS.
BUILDING MANAGER: Oh - guy the other day showed me a badge just like that.
GIBBS: ??
BUILDING MANAGER: Nah, he just took some pictures inside and said he'd get back to me.
GIBBS: We'd like to see the apartment.
BUILDING MANAGER: To take pictures or to rent it?
GIBBS: To rent it.
BUILDING MANAGER: Oh. All right.
GIBBS: We're gonna pick up where Chris left off. Stakeout time.
TONY: Yes!

TONY: Haven't been on a stakeout for a long time. I'm looking forward to this.
KATE: Figures. You're a voyeur; you like spying on people.
TONY: And this is legal.
KATE: Would you be as excited if the mark was a three hundred pound bald guy?
TONY: Nope.
GIBBS: What'd you find out?
KATE: No vehicle registered in Amanda Reed's name. She doesn't even have a driver's license, but a lot of people don't have cars in the city.
GIBBS: Dinozzo.
TONY: A connect. Between the dead Commander Voss and Amanda Reed. I ran a title search on the townhouse she just bought. It's too much to be a coincidence.
GIBBS: Are you going to spit it out, or do I have to waste my coffee on your head?
TONY: The house was in the Voss family for three generations; Commander's father lost it in a bankruptcy in '79. I've got a call in to the real estate agent who sold Amanda Reed the house; waiting to hear back from her.
GIBBS: Kate and I will take the first shift, you and McGee relieve us at 1900.
TONY: Yeah.
GIBBS: Problemo?
KATE: Well, do you really want to do that to McGee? I mean, Special Agent Bly here is going to eat him alive.
TONY: He looks up to me. As a mentor.
GIBBS: You want to be stuck in a cramped apartment with Dinozzo, be my guest.
KATE: On the other hand, it'll help McGee build character.
MCGEE: All set, boss, a secured phone line is installed, and the surveillance equipment is loaded in the van.
GIBBS: Good.
MCGEE: Special Agent Pochee filled out a requisition for a lot of the same equipment, never picked it up.
GIBBS: Yeah. Yeah, I know. Let's go, Kate.
TONY: You ever been on a stakeout before, McGee?
MCGEE: No. But I'm, ah, looking forward to the experience.
KATE: Behave yourself.

GIBBS: Hey, Abs, you there?
ABBY: Yeah, Gibbs, I finally got the link working.
GIBBS: Our lady's back.
ABBY: Yeah, I saw her. I finished pulling the last two weeks off Pochee's computer. There wasn't a lot there - like a lot of older agents, he wasn't very computer-savvy.
GIBBS: Send me the files.
ABBY: Will you know how to download 'em?
GIBBS: Don't go there, Abs.
ABBY: Touchy. Can we do a sound check on the laser mike?
GIBBS: Where'd she go?
KATE: Starbucks. Seems to be a regular. Nonfat grande foamy latte. Then to a pharmacy to pick up a prescription.
GIBBS: Hmm, I think she's running water.
ABBY: Oh, yeah. hear it loud and clear.
KATE: Hmm, lady's got expensive taste. That purse is Prada. Cost me a month's pay.

REAL ESTATE AGENT: I've had quick sales before, but nothing like this. She wrote a check for the full asking price, no contingencies, and we close din fifteen days.
TONY: And you told all that to Special Agent Pochee.
REAL ESTATE AGENT: Yeah, he first came in two-three years ago, wanted to be notified if the townhouse was ever listed. Thought he wanted to buy.
TONY: Couldn't afford it so you, ah, called him when it went back on the market?
REAL ESTATE AGENT: Ah, well, truth is, I forgot. After it sold, I remembered, I called. Thought he was going to be upset, but when I told him how Ms. Reed had made the buy, he sounded a little excited.
TONY: And did you get to know her really well?
REAL ESTATE AGENT: No, not really. I usually get to look at the clients' loan apps, and you know, tax returns, but this was such a clean deal I didn't have to bother with any of that.
TONY: Thanks. You've been a big help.
REAL ESTATE AGENT: Sure. Say, why isn't Special Agent Pochee here?
TONY: I'm filling in for him on the case. Thanks again.
REAL ESTATE AGENT: You wanna buy a house?

KATE: Anything?
GIBBS: Nope. Abby was right. Chris didn't leave much of a computer trail. He was surfing the website of the Bangkok Visitors' Bureau, but I cannot figure out why.
KATE: I'll get it.
TONY: Miss me?
KATE: What's that?
TONY: Dinner. Trying to broaden Special Agent McGee's palate.
KATE: It stinks.
GIBBS: What'd you find out?
TONY: Well, apparently Chris knew that Amanda had a thing for the Voss family home. Been keeping an eye on it.
GIBBS: What's Amanda Reed's connection to Voss?
MCGEE: I researched Amanda Reed's prior residences. Her last know address was Virginia Beach.
TONY: Which is eight miles from Norfolk where Lieutenant Commander Voss was stationed.
MCGEE: Before that, she lived in Jacksonville, Florida.
TONY: While he was at Mayport Naval Air Station ten miles away.
MCGEE: Prior to that Amanda lived in La Mesa, California.
TONY: Just outside of San Diego, while he pulled duty at Coronado.
KATE: Well, they knew each other.
GIBBS: Sounds like more than knew to me.
TONY: Good work, huh, boss?
GIBBS: Tomorrow's garbage day. I'm sure she'll take her trash out tonight. Go through it.
TONY: Right.
KATE: By the way, Tony, there's only one bathroom. It's clean now, and I want to find it that way when I get back.
TONY: What do you think I'm going to do.
KATE: I've seen you fire your weapon. I don't trust your aim.
TONY: I love this. It's just like the movie Stakeout.
MCGEE: There was a movie Stakeout?
TONY: How old are you? It's classic. Richard Dreyfuss, and one of, um, Martin Sheen's kids.
KATE: Emilio Estevez.
MCGEE: How can Estevez be a Sheen?
KATE: Martin Sheen's not a sheen.
TONY: It was cool, there were two teams, just like us, tradin' shifts, pulling practical jokes on one another.
KATE: I'm warning you, Dinozzo, don't go there.
TONY: We gotta go there. Any ideas, McGee?
MCGEE: No.
TONY: Well, don't worry, I got plenty.
MCGEE: You realize that any prank we pull on Kate, we'll also be pulling on Gibbs?
TONY: That's a problem.
MCGEE: Unless...Nah.
TONY: What?
MCGEE: Well - I was thinking, since she is expecting something, maybe we should do nothing.
TONY: That's brilliant. It'll drive her nuts trying to figure out what we did, but we didn't do. You're all right, McGee - have a pastrami.

DUCKY: Jethro, I didn't expect you back this late. I was just about to call you.
GIBBS: Find something off in that autopsy report, Duck?
DUCKY: No, I didn't. It was detailed and complete. As I expected, the ME's transcript was impeccable, there was a full complement of photos, and the lab workups were everything that I would have asked for.
GIBBS: Who identified Voss's body?
DUCKY: Nobody. They used a DNA match, as the body was badly burned in the automobile crash.
GIBBS: Ducky, would Buford County still have the tissue sample from the case in their evidence locker?
DUCKY: I would assume so. I'll check, why?
GIBBS: Have Abby rerun the DNA.
DUCKY: Right. I...heard the director asked you to speak at Pochee's memorial service.
GIBBS: yeah. Yeah, I declined.
DUCKY: Oh, Gibbs.
GIBBS: Can't do it, Duck. Wouldn’t feel right. I'll see you there.

[surveillance]REED: I don't understand why I need approval from the Historical Committee, I just wanna paint my front door and my window trim.
TONY: Oh, no, no, where'd you go? Where'd you go?
[surveillance]REED: Yeah. All right. All right. You know what, I think this is all...
TONY: Don't put on a shirt, it's hot out.
[surveillance]REED: I'm tired of fighting with you guys, where do you want me to send the color samples, okay?
TONY: I think I'm falling in love.
[surveillance]REED: I'll put it in the mail today.
TONY: Are you finished yet?
MCGEE: Yeah. And I'll I've learned is that she loves bananas and mangoes. Also uses every beauty product sold on cable TV.
TONY: Maybe she's older than she looks. How old do you think she is?
MCGEE: I dunno. Thirties?
TONY: Ooohh...yep. I need some fresh air.

DUCKY: Abigail.
ABBY: Donald. You look very snappy today.
DUCKY: I'm going to Christopher Pochee's memorial service. I wanted to drop off these blood and tissue samples first.
ABBY: Who's the unlucky donor?
DUCKY: The victim of a car crash three years ago.
ABBY: Lieutenant Commander Voss.
DUCKY: Gibbs wants you to test the DNA.
ABBY: Were the original results questionable?
DUCKY: No, they were as positive as it gets and certified by a reputable lab.
ABBY: So Gibbs wants me to retest them.
DUCKY: He does.
ABBY: DNA does not lie, Duck man.
DUCKY: Yeah, well, tell that to Gibbs. That's an unusual surveillance technique.
ABBY: Well, Dinozzo is an unusual agent. McGee, are you watching this?
MCGEE: Watching what?
ABBY: What the hell is Dinozzo up to?
MCGEE: What, he's not here?
ABBY: No, he's across the street, talking to the lady.
[surveillance]TONY: Yeah, 'cause, I live down the canal and I just, ah, I've been trying to paint my door, and the Historical Society's been giving me nothing but grief.
[surveillance]REED: I know, I just got off the phone with them. I just want to paint my door and my trim, and it's virtually impossible.
[surveillance]TONY: Total nonsense.
[surveillance]REED: You know, those were my exact words? Hi, I'm Amanda.
[surveillance]TONY: String. Fellow.
[surveillance]REED: You're kidding, right?
[surveillance]TONY: Well, five generations of String Fellows, y'know...
ABBY: String Fellow?
[surveillance]TONY: ...what're you gonna do?
MCGEE: It's so he won't forget it.
ABBY: You should.
MCGEE: Huh?
ABBY: Look, Dinozzo is your partner. In the world according to Gibbs, you share the blame if anything goes hinky.
MCGEE: Oh, jeez. Okay, ah, well, what do I do here, Abs?
ABBY: Don't volunteer anything, only answer questions asked, and whatever you do, do not lie, because Gibbs is like Santa Claus, he knows if you've been naughty.

TONY: How was the memorial service?
KATE: The director gave a nice eulogy.
GIBBS: Anything happen?
MCGEE: Nope, not a thing, boss.
TONY: Very quiet.
MCGEE: Very.
GIBBS: Is that why you seem so anxious, Special Agent McGee?
MCGEE: Me?
KATE: What did you do to him?
TONY: Nothing.
KATE: This place looks too clean. Excuse me. Hi.
GIBBS: Where is she now?
TONY: In the back of the house, in the kitchen.
GIBBS: Check her trash?
MCGEE: Ah, yes, boss, nothing unusual.
GIBBS: Have it sent to Abby for prints.
KATE: I had a great time too. Oh, I can't, I can't, Dwayne, but I promise I'll make it up to you this weekend. I'll call you back. Dinozzo!
TONY: Sounds like Dwayne's in love.
KATE: Permission to shoot him?
GIBBS: Mhm.
ABBY: Hey, Gibbs, you there?
GIBBS: Yeah, Abs, what's up?
ABBY: You rule.
GIBBS: I know, but remind me why.
ABBY: For wanting the DNA tested.
GIBBS: You can't have the results already.
ABBY: Oh, no, I didn't run it.
GIBBS: Abby, dammit, I am not in the mood.
ABBY: Chill, Gibbs, I didn’t have to. The crispy critter from the crash is type O positive. Lieutenant Commander Voss - AB negative.
KATE: Voss is alive?
ABBY: Unless he's an alien with shifting blood types.
MCGEE: He's alive. With all those millions.
TONY: Living la dolce vita. Lucky bastard.
GIBBS: Not for long.

KATE: Geotech Labs is your next right. I just...thought you might...I dunno...aaaahhh...miss it.
GIBBS: What I'm missing is talking to that tech who DNA certified that that body was Lieutenant Commander Voss.
KATE: Well, he's not listed, so maybe he no longer works at Geotech.
GIBBS: Call him and ask.
KATE: Joshua Laurie, please. Think he made a clerical error?
GIBBS: Nope.
KATE: People make mistakes, Gibbs.
GIBBS: Like backseat driving?
KATE: I'm in the front seat. Ah, yes, Joshua Laurie. When?
GIBBS: He's dead.
KATE: Two years ago in a car crash.

MCGEE: Where'd you come up with a name like String Fellow?
TONY: Airwolf.
MCGEE: Never heard of it.
TONY: You never watched Stakeout, never heard of Airwolf? What do you do on the weekends? And don't say party.
MCGEE: I, I write.
TONY: Write?
MCGEE: Yeah, try to write. Mysteries.
TONY: Ha.
MCGEE: I never should have told you.
TONY: No no no, no no no, that's good, that's good stuff, we're bonding. Hey, ah - where do you get your ideas?
MCGEE: Well, ah, cases. Like this one. Guy steals millions of dollars, makes it look like he's dead, has his girlfriend buy the old family home.
TONY: Hm. Isn't that plagiarism?
MCGEE: I...I don't think so.
TONY: Ah...love to see the return address. I'm gonna get a look at that package.
MCGEE: No, no, Tony, I don't think that's a good idea, Tony!
[surveillance]TONY: Anti-aging cream?
MCGEE: Tony, get out of there. Get out of there.

TONY: Hey.
REED: String Fellow.
TONY: You remember my name.
REED: How could I forget it. What are you doing here?
TONY: Ah, well, I could, I could say that I'm your new mailman.
REED: Which I wouldn't believe.
TONY: All right...how about I just wanted to see you again?
REED: You like espresso?
TONY: Yeah, I love espresso.
REED: Come on in.

MCGEE: Ah, Tony, don't do it, come on.

KATE: Oh my God, I can't believe it. Hamilton Voss and Josh Laurie graduated from the same high school in the same year.
GIBBS: That clenches it. Voss is alive and he faked his own death in an accident where his old schoolmate could make the DNA ID.
KATE: For which Voss killed him?
GIBBS: Yeah, why not? Voss killed whoever really burned in that car crash, murdered Chris when he found out he was tailing him...he caught Chris tailing him, maybe he's onto us.

[surveillance]TONY: Anyway, we made it into the Final Four, I was playing for Ohio State, we got beat by UCLA...
MCGEE: Special Agent McGee.
GIBBS: Put Dinozzo on.
MCGEE: Ah...ah...he can't come to the phone right now, boss.
GIBBS: Where is he, in the head?
MCGEE: He's across the street in the townhouse with her.
GIBBS: Well, what the hell is he doing there, McGee?
MCGEE: I, I, I, I really couldn't explain.
GIBBS: Have Abby pass the video from the stakeout up here. McGee, you listen to me. Voss is out there somewhere watching us watch Amanda.

[surveillance]REED: Ah, you like patties?
[surveillance]TONY: Hamburger or turkey?
[surveillance]REED: Ha, no, Paddy's Pub around the corner.
[surveillance]TONY: Oh, I thought you were offering me something to eat.
[surveillance]REED: I am offering you something to eat - corned beef and beer, huh?
[surveillance]TONY: I love corned beef and beer.
[surveillance]REED: Great - I'm going to go change into something else, String Fellow.
[surveillance]TONY: Uh - okay.
KATE: String fellow?
[surveillance]TONY: I, I'm going to wait outside.

TONY: Did you get that, Paddy's Pub? Gibbs? They're watching me? Hey, boss.
GIBBS: Dinozzo. What the hell are you doing?
TONY: I had an opening, it was a clear field, I had to go for it.
GIBBS: Good.
TONY: Good?
GIBBS: Yeah, good, Tony. You're the bait, okay? Voss is out there somewhere watching you like he watched Chris.
TONY: Like he watched Chris.
GIBBS: Enjoy your date. And stay out of elevators.
TONY: Okay. Cover my back.
MCGEE: You got it. Tony - ah, how do I, how do I take the safety off?
TONY: You take?

GIBBS: We're in a rush, Abby.
ABBY: I ran the prints from Amanda Reed's garbage. What the hell is wrong with you two?
KATE: Tony made contact with Amanda, they're going to a pub, and Commander Voss is probably stalking Tony.
ABBY: Heh.
KATE: It's not funny. He probably killed Pochee.
ABBY: Amanda killed Pochee.
GIBBS: Amanda.
ABBY: Okay, I take it back. Commander Voss did it.
GIBBS: Abby.
ABBY: She's my daughter! My sister! My daughter, my sister, my daughter...every print that I pulled off all those cosmetic jars that you gave me came from one person.
GIBBS: Amanda Reed.
ABBY: Yes and no.
GIBBS: Abby...
ABBY: They belong to Lieutenant Commander Voss. Amanda is Voss.
GIBBS: She's a he?
ABBY: Yes!
KATE: Oh, my God. Tony's on a date with a guy.

REED: Oh, String Fellow. You know you have beautiful eyes.
TONY: Call me String.
REED: You got a great smile, too.
[phone rings]
TONY: It's my boss.
REED: Well, work hours are over, hm? It's time to play.
TONY: Yeah, but I gotta take this, I can't...skip a call...from my boss. I guess...I could always...call him back later.

MCGEE: Excuse me - cold, please?

GIBBS: He's not answering.
KATE: Maybe he can't.

WAITRESS: There you go.
REED: I'm gonna go wash my hands before we eat. Be right back.
TONY: Okay.
REED: Don't leave.
TONY: Okay.

GIBBS: Why didn't you answer the phone?
TONY: Couldn't.
GIBBS: Where's Amanda?
TONY: Ladies' Room.
GIBBS: Swell. We can add that misdemeanor to the murder charges.
TONY: What?
GIBBS: Amanda is Lieutenant Commander Voss, Dinozzo.
TONY: Hahaha...Stop it, come on.
GIBBS: She's a he, bonehead, and if he is packing a .357 and a knife in his purse, he killed Chris.

REED: Well, I am famished. Aren't you hungry?
TONY: Lost my appetite.
REED: Oh...what's wrong?
TONY: I don't know where to begin.
REED: Is this the same man I left sitting here a few minutes ago?
TONY: I don't know...are you the same woman?
REED: Oh, yes, I...
TONY: Open your purse.
REED: Terrorist, help!
MCGEE: Federal agent, move!
TONY: Stop him, stop him!
MCGEE: Her, stop her!
GIBBS: His name was Special Agent Chris Pochee. And he was a friend.
KATE: Federal Agent. So are those two, let them go.
TONY: Let me go.
KATE: He didn't have a chance - why'd he try?

KATE: Why are you going through everything before you box it?
GIBBS: Force of habit. I don't want his family getting an unpleasant surprise.
ABBY: Reminds me of The Crying Game.
MCGEE: Don't know it.
ABBY: It was such a cool flick.
TONY: Abby - could you pick some other movie, please?
ABBY: Oh, uhm...Victor/Victoria?
TONY: That was a girl pretending to be a guy pretending to be a girl?
ABBY: Right.
TONY: Yeah. That one's okay.
MCGEE: Gotta hand it to Commander Voss. In three years he hid in plain sight as a woman.
KATE: Well, he wasn't a woman yet. Surgery was scheduled for next month in Bangkok.
ABBY: Getting your plumbing turned inside out...that's so...
MCGEE: Hinky.
ABBY: No, no, it's way beyond hinky, it's, um...
KATE: Speaking of way beyond hinky - Tony?
TONY: Okay, all right, give it to me, Kate, I can take it.
KATE: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
TONY: Forget it, I can't take it.

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