MARINE. Ten-hut!
PRESIDENT G.W. BUSH. Bobby, those baby backs from Papa Joe's make the flight?
STEWARD. Yes, sir, Mr. President. They were flown in from San Antonio ten minutes ago, sir.
PRESIDENT G.W. BUSH. Good. Let's have an early lunch.
STEWARD. Yes, sir, Mr. President.
PRESIDENT G.W. BUSH. I love the baby backs from Papa Joe's.
AGENT BAUR. I know, Mr. President.
PRESIDENT G.W. BUSH. Wasn't major Kerry supposed to be handling the football on this one?
KATE. He came down with the flu, Mr. President.
BAUR. Uh, this is Commander Ray Trapp, Mr. President. He's new on the detail.
PRESIDENT G.W. BUSH. Have we met, commander?
CMDR. TRAPP. Yes, sir, on the Abraham Lincoln, Mr. President.
PRESIDENT G.W. BUSH. Ah, right, Lincoln. You know, that trip to the Lincoln was the best day I've had on this job. Why don't you join me for lunch?
CMDR. TRAPP. Be my pleasure, Mr. President.
PRESIDENT G.W. BUSH. Good. I look forward to it.
KATE. Lunch with the boss on your first day. You're destined for stars on those shoulders, commander.

STEWARD. Agent Baer, Agent Todd, would either of you like anything to eat?
BAUR. No, thank you.
KATE. I'm fine, thanks.
STEWARD. Very well.
BAUR. I'll be in the comm getting an update from back home. Keep an eye on things down here.
KATE. You expecting a problem, sir?
BAUR. Expect problems, Agent Todd, and with a little luck, you'll never lose the President.

CMDR. TRAPP. I fumbled in my first Army-Navy game, but...I recovered the ball. Ray Trapp.
KATE. Kate Todd.
CMDR. TRAPP. Eating with the president was...a bigger sweat than...making a night, night trap.
KATE. Are you ill, commander? Slammer, Rosefern. Medical emergency, section one.
BAUR. What's wrong?
KATE. I don't know.
DOCTOR. What do you got?
EMT. He's not breathing.
DOCTOR. No pulse.
EMT. Give me the bag.
KATE. Doctor, he just had lunch with the president.
DOCTOR. Oh, my g-d.
BAUR. Let's go. All right, you stay with the football.
EMT. Chest compressions. Let's check the pulse. There's no pulse. Let's get his shirt off.

[credits]

GIBBS. Yeah, Gibbs.
TONY. A navy commander carrying the football on Air Force One just carked in the air.
GIBBS. Where'd they land?
TONY. Wichita, Kansas. The president's transferring to the backup bird. I booked us on a 1500 United flight out of Reagan. Stops in Dallas before going on to Wichita.
GIBBS. That the best you could do?
TONY. It's Saturday, Gibbs. You know, if we had our own jet...
GIBBS. We don't. Ducky's buds with coroners across the country. See if you can't get one of them to hold the body until we get there.
TONY. All right.
TV. ...CBS news update. We've just learned that Air Force One has made an unscheduled stop at Wichita's mid-continent airport. Details are sketchy...

AIRPORT VOICEOVER. Attention, passengers. This is a gate change announcement...
TONY. FBI, CIA, DEA, ATF, even NYPD have private jets.
GIBBS. Look, 36 cents a mile. You want to drive?
TONY. It's humiliating.
GIBBS. Hey. We're LEOs.
TSA OFFICER. I'm a Capricorn.
TONY. LEO, short for law enforcement officer.
GIBBS. You new at this...Dennis?
TSA OFFICER. First week. NCIS. Never heard of it.
GIBBS. That's embarrassing.
TSA OFFICER. NCIS anything like CSI?
TONY. Only if you're dyslexic.
TSA OFFICER. Okay, you can go ahead and goaround the metal detector, but your bags got to go through the scanner.
GIBBS. Wait a minute. You're letting us take weapons aboard but you want to scan our bags?
TSA OFFICER. You've got permits for the weapons. You don't for the bags.
TONY. We really need our own jet.
DUCKY. Dennis! Those bags are mine.
TSA OFFICER. Ah, why didn't you tell meyou're schlepping for the doc? He's got a bag permit.
DUCKY. Move it, men. We don't want to miss our flight.

ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. If J. Edgar Hoover was alive, I'd tell him what I'm telling you. This body is in Wichita County, and as a county coroner, I have jurisdiction. No one moves it until the M.E. says they can.
FBI AGENT FORNELL. Your jurisdiction doesn't supersede the FBI on Air Force One.
KATE. It's not Air Force One, Agent Fornell. When the president departed on the backup plane, it became Air Force One. This is now Alpha Foxtrot 9.
FORNELL. Don't get into this pissing contest, Agent Todd. As you pointed out, the president's gone. It's no longer a Secret Service problem.
KATE. Look, this could be a natural death, or it could be a botched attemptto murder the president. Until I know which, it's my problem.
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. I don't give a damn which one of you is boss, you ain't moving this body until the M.E. says you can.
DUCKY. You talking about me, Elmo?
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. Hello, Ducky. How'd you like those steaks I air-expressed you?
DUCKY. Ah, delicious.
FORNELL. He air-expressed him steaks?
KATE. It's a big state. Look how long it took him to get here.
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. Agent Fornell here is FBI. Agent Todd, Secret Service. Ducky, they're fighting over this bodylike two hounds over a T-bone.
DUCKY. Well, it's our T-bone for the moment.
GIBBS. All these LEOs are contaminating apotential crime scene.
DUCKY. My assistant's right. Everyone who boarded in Wichita will have to evacuate the plane.
FORNELL. I'm not going anywhere.
KATE. I flew in on it.
DUCKY. Very well. You two can stay, but everyone else must deplane.
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. All right, you heard the M.E. Let's move it, boys. Ducky, what do you think?
DUCKY. There's no outward sign of trauma.
KATE. He was stricken after having lunch with the president.
TONY. Yeah, how is the president?
KATE. He's fine. His physician cleared him to fly on to L.A.
GIBBS. What happened?
KATE. When the commander returned from lunch, he had an equilibrium problem, and his grip was too weak to hold his briefcase.
DUCKY. Did he gradually become ill, or was it sudden?
KATE. Sudden. He started to convulse and collapsed. The president's physician believed that the commander had a stroke.
TONY. Kind of young for a brain fart.
DUCKY. Looks like an natural death to me, Elmo. They can leave with the body as long as they sign releases.
FORNELL. Why the hell didn't you say that?
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. Couldn't. Like I said, it's the M.E.'s decision. Release forms are in my car.
FORNELL. Let's go. We can work out jurisdiction with Washington on the flight to Andrews.
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. Uh, Ducky...about those soft-shell crabs?
DUCKY. Uh... uh, you'll have them by the weekend.
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. Ten-four, partner.
GIBBS. Tony, go on. Show the pilot your credentials. Get us the hell out of here. Hey. Cockpit's on the top deck.
TONY. I knew that.
GIBBS. You enjoy playing my boss?
DUCKY. I did rather.
GIBBS. What do you think happened, Duck?
DUCKY. Good God, Gibbs, I've barely met the deceased.
GIBBS. I think DiNozzo's right. Naval aviator stroking at his age?
DUCKY. He could have been born with an aneurysm. They're time bombs in the body. I remember this young, promising basso profundo in London. He was only 7 when he keeled over. In the middle of an Otello aria...
KATE. Who the hell are you people? You're no M.E. assistant and there's not a soft-shell crab within a thousand miles.
DUCKY. Sorry.
GIBBS. NCIS. We flew down here from Washingtonto take over the investigation.
KATE. First the FBI tries to muscle in and now NCIS.
GIBBS. Yeah, well, I do believe this is a dead naval officer.
KATE. Who died on Air Force One after having lunch with the president it's my job to protect.
GIBBS. Okay, we can share jurisdiction. You can be on my team.
KATE. Your team? Why should you head the investigation?
GIBBS. You ever worked a crime scene, Agent Todd?
KATE. I am a Secret Service agent.
GIBBS. I thought not.
KATE. Well, don't dismiss me like that, okay. I earned my jockstrap.
GIBBS. Yeah? Does it ever give you that empty feeling?
KATE. What?
GIBBS. Your jock strap.
KATE. No. Like some species of frogs,I grow what I need.
TONY. Gibbs, the pilot won't take off till the Secret Service chick gives us the...thumbs up.
KATE. I think that just made it my team.
GIBBS. No, I think it means I just have to hijack Air Force One. Tony, escort Agent Todd off this aircraft and close the hatch.
KATE. You're not serious. Wait.Wait! Okay, okay. Your team. But only because I don't want to delay us further by having to shoot you.

FORNELL. Damn it, Agent Todd, let's get this show on the road!
TONY. Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. We overbooked the flight.
FORNELL. What the hell are you doing? What's going on? Stop! All right, do you know what the hell's going on?
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. Guess Ducky decided to takethe body to Washington.
FORNELL. Why is your medical examinertaking the body to washington?
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. Never said he was my medical examiner.
FORNELL. Then who the hell's medical examiner is he?
ELMO, THE COUNTY CORONER. Ducky? He works for NCIS.

DIRECTOR MORROW. Did you have to literallyslam a door on the FBI's face?
GIBBS. They were more of them than us.
DIRECTOR MORROW. They're always more of them than us. Did you ever hear of interagency cooperation?
GIBBS. Yes, sir.
GIBBS. I got the Secret Service agent in charge at Wichita to agree to share the investigation.
DIRECTOR MORROW. Willingly?
GIBBS. Well, we could use a littleback up when we land at Andrews.
DIRECTOR MORROW. That's what I thought. We're spread a bit thin, but we've got no agents.
GIBBS. If the FBI gets this body, we won't see an autopsy report until afterthey leak it to the washington post.
DIRECTOR MORROW. Will this Secret Service agent stand up to the FBI?
GIBBS. I don't know.She's got balls.

KATE. Are you starting the autopsy?
DUCKY. Goodness, no. I'm just taking his liver temperature to corroborate the time of death.
KATE. The president's physician declared him dead at 2032 Zulu.
DUCKY. Yeah, it never hurts to double-check.
TONY. Excuse me. You'll need to stand clear so I can takemeasurements for my crime scene sketches. Thanks.
KATE. Sketches? You've taken a dozen photos.
TONY. Tell me her measurements.
KATE. You're pathetic.
TONY. No. I'm serious. Can you tell if she's five-foot-four and a 34c or five-foot-seven and a 36d? You can't. Not from a photo. That's why we do sketchesand take measurements.Thanks.
DUCKY. I got 1915 Zulu.That's nearly an hour earlier.
KATE. Well, then, you miscalculated.
GIBBS. What's the problem?
DUCKY. There's apparently a discrepancy between my time of death and the president's physician's.
GIBBS. All yours. Enough sketches, Tony. Agent Todd's going to give you a floor plan.
KATE. Oh, no, she won't.
DUCKY. I thought your photo analysis was brilliant, Tony. But isn't 36d a bit of wishful thinking?
TONY. You think?

GIBBS. What can you tell me about Commander Trapp?
KATE. I can't give him Air Force One floor plans. They're top secret.
GIBBS. Come on. I saw this in a Harrison Ford movie.
KATE. Well, that's Hollywood speculation. You're asking for the real thing.
GIBBS. Isn't the president's head down here someplace?
KATE. No.
GIBBS. No, this is in the movie. Yeah, Harrison was sitting right here.
KATE. I can't risk those plans getting out on the internet.
GIBBS. NCIS does not leak. These plans get out, you can shoot DiNozzo.
KATE. No, I think I'm destined to shoot you.
GIBBS. What about Commander Trapp?
KATE. I only met him this morning. He just received his Yankee White clearance and was Major Kerry's backup. The major has the flu.
GIBBS. We'll have to get a Navy doctor to verify that.
KATE. He's got it. But go ahead and, and, and waste a doctor'stime double-checking like your Ducky.
GIBBS. This is where the terrorists got their weapons in the movie.
KATE. Oh, that is as ridiculous as the president's escape capsule.
GIBBS. Did everybody switch planes with the president?
KATE. The press was put on a separate plane. Everyone else boarded the backupexcept three stewardswho I put in the press cabin.
GIBBS. What'd you keep them for, to make coffee?
KATE. I may not know the finer points of investigating,like sticking needles in liver or,you know, measuring swimsuit models,but I do know enough to hold the stewardswho prepared and served the president's lunch. You want to question them?
GIBBS. No. They're not going anywhere. We got a crime scene to investigate. Rule number one. Never let suspects stay together. I didn't consider them suspects.
GIBBS. Then why'd you hold them? Put these on.
KATE. My fingerprints are all over this aircraft.
GIBBS. Rule number two. Always wear gloves at a crime scene.
DUCKY. I believe I know why there's adiscrepancy in the time of death. Now, since the commander had lunched with the president,I'm sure the president's physician rushed to evaluate his condition. He also called Trapp's time of death.
KATE. Yes. Once he was sure that the presidentwasn't in medical danger,he returned and... he was gone nearly an hour.
DUCKY. I'm sure the autopsy will show that Commander Trapp expired almost immediately.
KATE. I owe you an apology, doctor.
DUCKY. Oh, please, it's Ducky to my associates. I'm just relieved we straightened it out. It's inconsistencies like thisstart conspiracy theories. It reminds me of a case once in New Orleans. A jealous husband shot his wife off a Mardi Gras float right under the clock, at the corner of Basin street.
GIBBS. Come on, doc, give it a rest. She's got work to do.
DUCKY. I'll tell you the rest later.
GIBBS. Rule number three.Don't believe what you're told.Double-check.
KATE. Should I write these rules in my Palm Pilot or crochet them on pillows? Oh, no, I draw the line at him sitting in the president's chair.
TONY. He's not using it.
KATE. Gibbs!
GIBBS. All right, you've finished taking pictures.Start bagging and tagging.
TONY. Just waiting for you, boss.
KATE. Oh, bagging and tagging what?
GIBBS. Well, to start with... everything. The president was sitting there?
KATE. Pretty good bet since it is his desk.
GIBBS. Okay, to maintain the chain of custody,take the item in this case, Commander Trapp's lunch, place it in the evidence bag, seal it,record all pertinent information. initial across the seal. Keep it cold. Okay.Why don't you try it? Whoa...wait a minute! Hey, wait! Wait a minute! Whoa! Stop! In here! In here!
KATE. Can I rinse now that you got your evidence?
GIBBS. Yeah, sure. Log it. Go find Ducky.
TONY. You think she's got whatever killed the commander?

ANNOUNCER. Please join me in welcoming president George W. Bush.
BAUR. Don't threaten me, Tom. I'm not in your food chain.
FORNELL. You want that?
BAUR. Commander Trapp was a naval officer.They have every right to do the autopsy.
FORNELL. Damn it, Bill, they're bush league. We've got assets those cowboys can only salivate over.
BAUR. Don't underestimate NCIS.
FORNELL. Oh, they're good at making drug busts,catching sailors that jump ship,but an attack on the president?
BAUR. The president's doctor thoughtthat commander Trapp had a stroke.
FORNELL. Maybe he did. But if he was poisoned, you willing to put the man's lifein the hands of retread cops and ex-MPs?
BACKGROUND. Go ahead and be seated.
BAUR. If you withhold so much as a comma out of a report...
FORNELL. You'll get copies of everything before the ink dries.
BAUR. I'll order Agent Todd to turnthe body over to the FBI at Andrews,but I can't control NCIS.
FORNELL. With us joined at the hip, all they can do is watch and b-tch. We're back in the ball game.

DUCKY. No temperature. I think it's a stomach virus.
KATE. I know it is. Did you use that thermometer on cadavers?
DUCKY. Would you rather I used a liver probe?
GIBBS. Why are you so sure it was the flu?
KATE. It's the same symptoms Major Kerry had.
DUCKY. Did you work together recently?
KATE. No.
DUCKY. Well, if you didn't work with him, then how? Ah.
KATE. Did you think I was a virgin?
DUCKY. I'd hoped not.
KATE. You going to lecture me about sleeping with people you work with?
GIBBS. Nope.
KATE. Agent Todd, Agent Baer's on a secure line for you.
GIBBS. Want me to take that call for you?
KATE. I'd have to be dead.

TONY. And how long you been on Air Force One?
CHIEF STEWARD. Five years, sir. Two with president Clinton,three with president Bush.
TONY. All right. Well, thank you very much, Chief Steward.
CHIEF STEWARD. Yes, sir.
GIBBS. What'd you get? Oh, food security's very tight - incognito purchases, randomly selected stores. No one knows they're buying for Air Force One. Stewards usually prepare all the food, but today the president had ribs and coleslaw flown in from a smokehouse in San Antonio. So, they only reheated them and served them.
GIBBS. Anybody else have ribs?
TONY. No.
DUCKY. Gibbs, if the ribs were poisoned,how come the president wasn't affected?
GIBBS. Maybe he's used to Papa Joe's barbecue. If you two are through taking pictures of each other, I think we can move that body aft.

KATE. I made a deal with NCIS to share the investigation, sir.
BAUR. You're not senior enoughto make deals, Agent Todd. We're working this with the FBI.
KATE. Look, sir, these NCIS agents are not just goingto turn the body and evidence over to the FBI.
BAUR. Let's go. NCIS had no right to use a localcoroner to delay your departure.
KATE. You have to see it from their side.
BAUR. Agent Todd, shut up and listen! I'm giving you a direct order.That's our aircraft. Everything living and dead on boardis under Secret Service control. Turn the body over to the FBI at Andrews or the only presidential detai lyou'll get will be walking Spotty.

KATE. Where's the body?
GIBBS. I don't know.
KATE. You move it to the aft ramp for a fast getaway? It won't work, Gibbs. I've been ordered to turn the bodyover to the FBI at Andrews.
GIBBS. You could stall them until we get it off.
KATE. No, I can't. I won't defy a direct order.
KATE. I'm sorry, Gibbs.
GIBBS. Never say you're sorry. I... You don't have to crochet that one.
PILOT. Folks, please fasten your seat belts. We're beginning our descent into Andrews at this time.

FBI AGENT. Why'd you let NCIS have the evidence they bagged on the plane?
FORNELL. Since we have a body for investigation, a few ribs and coleslaw save some face, what does it hurt? If the food was poisoned,the president would be.
{ cell phone ring }
FBI AGENT. It's not mine, sir.
FORNELL. Me neither.
TONY. Hello.
GIBBS. We're in the clear. You can get out of the body bag now.
TONY. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm not sure I want to.
GIBBS. What? You have to search Commander Trapp's apartment tonight.
TONY. Oh, Gibbs, come on, it's 1 A.M.
GIBBS. Agent Axlerod is trailing youto pick up the body bagwhen the FBI tosses it.
TONY. That's funny, Gibbs, real funny,especially since...ow!
GIBBS. I guess they found him.
DUCKY. Mm-hmm.

DIRECTOR MORROW. Special Agent Gibbs has been operating under my direct orders.
SECRET SERVICE DIRECTOR. Agent Todd was also operating under orders.
FBI DIRECTOR. As was Agent Fornell.
DIRECTOR MORROW. Then the problem seems to be that my man succeeded where your two didn't.
SECRET SERVICE DIRECTOR. Huh. Tom, this is no time for turf wars. Not after 9/11. And especially when the president's life may be at risk.
DIRECTOR MORROW. I like to think this is not about turf, Mark. Rather that we all believe wehave the right people for the job. We shouldn't be agency directors if we didn't.
SECRET SERVICE DIRECTOR. You're offering a shared investigation?

DIRECTOR MORROW. I am.
SECRET SERVICE DIRECTOR. Who leads? Your man?

DIRECTOR MORROW. We do have the body.

GERALD. I found Abby. She's on the way in.
GIBBS. Yeah, did you wake her up?
GERALD. No. Called her on her cell. Sounded like one phat party.
GIBBS. You find anything, Ducky?
DUCKY. Nope. And I won't for hours. I've just begun examining the body for needle marks.
GIBBS. Think somebody stuck him?
DUCKY. I don't know.
GIBBS. Anything on the uniform?
DUCKY. Not that I could see.I sent it up to Abby.
GIBBS. What's this?
DUCKY. A mole. Gibbs, go home. Get some sleep. I would if I could. This is going to take all night. Oor what's left of it.
GIBBS. Ducky... Why would Abby go to a fat party?
DUCKY. Jethro...get some sleep.

TONY. Abby!
ABBY. Yeah?
TONY. Find anything on his uniform? Not yet.
TONY. Well, I think I found how he was poisoned. This guy had enough vitamins, herbs and organic food to open his own health market. If he was poisoned, I think you'll find it laced into one of these.
ABBY. So what are you going to do while I'm finding poison in a health snack?
TONY. I'll wait.
ABBY. There's a futon by the cabinet over there.
TONY. Oh, bless you.
ABBY. What are you, my priest?
TONY. Curse you? Oh, yeah.

DUCKY. My neuropathology examine indicates that our victim succumbedto a cerebral embolism here in the parietal lobe. I also found a number of clots. Most of them centered in the renal artery.
KATE. Isn't that unusual?
DUCKY. Oh, not at all. In most cases of arterial thrombosis, clots will develop over a period of minutes or hours,spread to the rest of the body.
GIBBS. But what caused them to developin a healthy young aviator?
DUCKY. Abby?
ABBY. Well, I did a fibrinogen test. The procoagulant numbers were high,but they weren't off the charts.
FORNELL. Any drugs that might have induced clotting?
ABBY. Well, yeah. But none of those popped up. I only iso'd epinephrine that was injected whenhe got jouled and juiced on the plane.
TONY. No vitamins, herbals?
ABBY. Well, the guy was an organic freak. I mean, he probably whizzed green. But none of that'll cottage-cheese your blood.
KATE. Did you test the food that he ingested on Air Force One?
ABBY. Everything that was bagged and tagged. There's ribs, coleslaw, barby sauce. It was all negative for toxins. I mean, that stuff will kill you, but it'll take, like, years. Do you dudes in the Secret Service ever think about throwing yourselvesin front of the president's diet?
FORNELL. So, you're both saying he wasn't murdered.
DUCKY. No, however freakish and tragic, it apparently was a natural death.
FORNELL. I want my people to check your results.
DUCKY. Of course. You and Agent Todd will bereceiving copies of all our tests.
FORNELL. Does it for me. How's your butt?
TONY. Still bouncing on the beltway.
GIBBS. Kate? When's the president returning?
KATE. Uh, tomorrow, noon.I'm flying back tonight to rejoin the detail.
GIBBS. Mind if I tag along? Please?
KATE. You can. Your Sig Sauer can't. We have a rule. No weapons on Air Force Oneunless you're Secret Service.
GIBBS. Keep looking.
ABBY. Wow, Gibbs said please.

MAJOR TIMOTHY KERRY. To Commander Trapp. To come all the way through the warwithout a scratch and then die of a stroke... He was in the thick of iton the push to baghdad.
KATE. You never told me that you knew him.

MAJOR TIMOTHY KERRY. We had a drink when he reported to the White House. Wanted to know what tips I could give him.
KATE. About the football detail?

MAJOR TIMOTHY KERRY. That and where he could find a good gym,dry cleaners, grocery mart...local watering hole.
KATE. Did you tell him about this place?

MAJOR TIMOTHY KERRY. No. He might have run into us,and that wouldn't have been good, would it?
KATE. No, it wouldn't.

MAJOR TIMOTHY KERRY. He wouldn't have run into us after tonight though, would he?
KATE. No.

MAJOR TIMOTHY KERRY. Worried about losing your job?
KATE. Worried about losing the president. When we work together, my focus,it just wouldn't be a hundred percent. I'm sorry, Tim. That's the way it's got to be and you know it.

PRESIDENT BUSH. Good to see you again, Major. Always good to see you. Folks, job well done.
BAUR. Thank you, sir.

PRESIDENT BUSH. What do you say we head home?
BAUR. Absolutely.

PRESIDENT BUSH. All right. I agree.
KATE. Sir, I'm surprised that you didn't objectto Agent Gibbs riding with us.
BAUR. He's here because his gutis still churning, isn't it?
BAUR. Yes, sir, I suppose you could put it that way.
BAUR. Well, so is mine.

ABBY. Ducky, I have tested everything. Mineral acids, organic acids,alkaloids, bacterial poisons...
DUCKY. You know, Abby, nature always proves to be a far more elusive and powerful killer than man.

KATE. Expect him to drop?
GIBBS. I see you're over the flu.
KATE. 24 hour bug. Tim got over it yesterday. Tim is Major Kerry.
GIBBS. Yeah. Kinda figured that.
KATE. I met him for a drink yesterday. I told him we had to stop seeing each other. I mean, we hadn't been dating long. I mean, we knew each other onthe detail for a couple monthsbefore we started... dating. You know, when you're on the job, 24-7, how else do you get to know someone?
GIBBS. Church.

BAUR. Annie. The president's ready to see you.
GIBBS. Where are they going?
KATE. The president promised ten minutes to each member of the press on board. Since we kicked them off at Wichita, he's playing catch up.
GIBBS. Three years before 9/11, Clancy wrote a book where a terrorist hijacked a commercial jet liner and crashed into the capitol. In the Harrison Ford movie, the terrorists were reporters.
KATE. Gibbs... everyone on board has been vetted by us for years - except you.
GIBBS. In the film, the terrorists got their credentials from a Secret Service turncoat.
LEONARD. Loosening up your dress code, Kate?
KATE. He's not one of us.
LEONARD. We all going to get our minutes of fame?
KATE. It's ten, Leonard, and the president's doing his best.
TONY. Agent DiNozzo, NCIS. What do you got?
DETECTIVE ANDY KOCHIFIS. One dead marine officer. No signs of trauma. Doesn't appear to be a robbery. There's still cash and credit cards in his wallet. I've got two shootings already this morning. Since this guy's one of yours, I hoped you might take him.
TONY. Yeah, we'll take him.

ABBY. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

GIBBS. There is something different about this plane and Air Force One.
KATE. This is Air Force One.
GIBBS. You know what I mean.
KATE. There are some minor differences. 29000 is newer and has some minor updates.
GIBBS. Like what?
KATE. Rear-loading hatch is bigger on the 29000.
GIBBS. Mm.
KATE. Extra lavatory forward. Locks are digital on the 29000 and keyed on this.
INTERCOM. Special Agent Gibbs, you have a teleconference call in comm.
GIBBS. Katie, I want to know every difference on this plane,no matter how small you think it is.
KATE. Please?

GIBBS. What's up?
TONY. Major Kerry is dead. D.C. cops found the body in his caron a street in georgetown. Ducky and Abby will update you.
GIBBS. Another stroke, Duck?
DUCKY. I'm afraid so, Gibbs, but this time there are multiple embolic infarctions. The major must have received a heavier dose than the commander.
GIBBS. Dose of what, Abby?
ABBY. It's venom from a coastal taipan. It's a highly toxic aussie snake. Well, this junk zaps the nervous system, and it clogs the blood. You convulse and then you stroke.
DUCKY. The toxin is almost impossible to detect.
TONY. Well, truth is, Abby would have detected itif I hadn't interrupted her while she was ALS-ing the uniform.
GIBBS. The venom was in the uniform?
ABBY. Yeah, I found traces of DMSO in the collars and the cuffs. I think it was mixed with the venom to make it absorb through the skin.
TONY. Major Kerry was the intended target,but he came down with the flu, and didn'tput his uniform on until yesterday.
GIBBS. How did the terrorists get the poison into the uniforms?
ABBY. Well, they both have tags from Dry Dock Cleaners on 19th street.
GIBBS. DiNozzo, why are you sitting there on your ass? Get a team, and go hit that dry cleaners.
DIRECTOR MORROW. I've passed that baton to the FBI. This has all the earmarks of Al-Qaeda. Unexpected, well-planned, brilliantly executed. But to what end?
TONY. Wouldn't surprise me to, uh, hear Bin laden on Al-Jazeera bragging how he iced the president's ball carriers.
DIRECTOR MORROW. I don't think that's whathe wants to brag about.
GIBBS. Ah... neither do I.

GIBBS. Where did you get your uniform dry cleaned?
MARINE. Base cleaner at Quantico, sir.
KATE. Uh, I've accessed everything I could on the differences.
GIBBS. We need to talk.
KATE. No, what are you doing? There's a campaign conference going on in there.
GIBBS. I need to talk to you in private.
KATE. Well, there's no other private meeting room.You could ask the president to give up his office, but that might be a little weird. Hey! What, what are you doing? Hey! Ow!
GIBBS. Sit down.
KATE. What are you doing?
GIBBS. Commander Trapp was poisoned. Australian snake venom. Hard to detect. Mimics a natural death.
KATE. What, you think I did it?
GIBBS. Well, sweet pea, you were with him when he was poisoned.
KATE. Yeah, so was the president. Are you going to accuse him?
GIBBS. No. He wasn't with Major Kerry yesterday.
KATE. Tim?
GIBBS. Yeah. Stroked on a Georgetown street. You know what? I'll bet it wasn't far from the barwhere you two kissed and say bye-bye.
KATE. It isn't true!
GIBBS. It's okay. It's okay. I gave it to you cold. Wanted to see your reaction. Liars can't pale on cue. Come on. Come on.
KATE. You're still a bastard. How were they poisoned?
GIBBS. Dry cleaner laced their uniforms with poison. Must be an Al Qaeda sleeper.
KATE. Tim must have recommended his dry cleaners. He...
GIBBS. What?
KATE. Yesterday... Yesterday he... Tim told me that they had a drinkand that he gave... he gave Commander Trapp tips like that.
GIBBS. Well, they gotta be after the president. What does killing the ball carrier give them?
KATE. Nothing. Another aide steps in.
GIBBS. And another plane. This plane. They forced the president to fly his back-up.
KATE. Security's exactly the same.
GIBBS. But the plane isn't. And I'll bet security isn't either until the president's on board. Al-Qaeda has to have planted something on this plane.
KATE. Well, it can't...it can't be a bomb. They would have detonated it by now.

REPORTER. Somebody help.
SECRET SERVICE AGENT. Medical emergency, press cabin.
DOCTOR. Out of the way.
BAUR. Captain, is this the same thing Trapp had?
DOCTOR. It appears to be.
EMT. He's not breathing.
DOCTOR. Start CPR. Do something.

GIBBS. You said the locks were different.
KATE. 29000 has digital ones. This plane has keys.
GIBBS. Armory... The armory. They have keys to the armory. They copied the movie. They've vetted a reporter.
KATE. That would take years.
GIBBS. So did setting up 9/11.
KATE. There's a medical emergency in the press cabin.
GIBBS. It's a diversion. Cover the president.
KATE. Nobody gets past you.
MARINE. Sir, stop right there.
LEONARD. What? What's happening?
MARINE. Stop right there, sir!
LEONARD. What's happening?
GIBBS. Freeze! Get your hands in the air!
LEONARD. Sure. Someone yelled for a doctor.

GIBBS. I'm going to be doing paperwork for a week.
BAUR. Oh, yeah. Me, too. Agent Todd told me about her and Major Kerry when she tendered her resignation.
GIBBS. You accepting?
BAUR. Of course. She broke the rules. Well, thank you, Special Agent Gibbs.
GIBBS. No, sir. Thank you.

GIBBS. I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
KATE. Happy news gets around fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
GIBBS. Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS... I won't give you a chance to resign.
KATE. Is that a job offer?

FORNELL ON TV. Federal agents working in unison with the Secret Service were able to foila terrorist attempt to assassinate the presidentwhile he was on board Air Force One. The body of the terrorist is being delivered to the armed forces institute of pathologywhere FBI forensic experts will endeavor to identify.
REPORTER ON TV. Was it Al-Qaeda?
FORNELL ON TV. That's all we know at this time.

______________________________________________________________

Much thanks to Team NCIS (Tom, Brice, Nath, Jordanas, BadGOne, Plissken, Ugo, Moustou, Max, and especially Sébastien Gaillot) - kim1047 and hyunseungk - for the closed-caption scripts.